mortalcoil
As noted in a previous post, I have been suffering from a spectrum of gastric issues for some time but this morning something happened that scared me - I coughed up blood, bright red, almost a handful. I booked an emergency appointment with the doctor who has given me a slip for an urgent chest X-ray tomorrow. She told me not to worry, that the coughing has probably irritated my throat, but a sudden acceleration towards imagined death is always a sobering experience and draws forth the essence of one’s life in an instant.
I imagined X-rays penetrating my chest, illuminating my skeleton, that clunky framework of bone that holds my fragile body together as I live, breathe, communicate and experience. I knew that if I was given bad news, I would exercise courage, draw on the significant spiritual and community resources established through my practise of Buddhism on the one hand and active media on the other, expand my heart and live my life to the full during my remaining time.
If I was given good news, of course, it’s time to stop being such a redundant moron, really stop smoking, get healthy and thrive!
But that moment when I thought - this could be it - combined with my recent epiphanies regarding the way I interface with the world - made me feel like the guy at the end of the music video I am posting next…
7 months ago